New Year’s Resolution

My annual reflection.

I can say that I have been through so much this year and learned so much about myself.

Probably my most valuable intake from this year is to embrace my failures, because they test us and force us to reflect on every step we take along the way.

Rejection from schools and military programs, has led me to my military job where I met my best friends and faced the challenges of the Israeli- Palestinian conflict.

A job that helped me Gain more life skills and eventually solidifying my understanding of myself and the path I want to take in life.

And my pre med course, that helped me gather all the missing pieces together, and prepare me for the new upcoming journey.

For the first time in forever, I feel complete and confident in who I am.

I am so happy I failed, and so should you.

I can’t wait to see what awaits for me in this new chapter in life:)

January 1, 2023 0

The Mega Fear

Every single one of us has something that terrifies them to the point of paralysis. Believe me, I can assure you that I have a few of those.

Some voices in my head that keep whispering to me that I am not good enough and I might never be. At times I almost feel that I will not be able to get over the fear and stand up on my feet. That I cannot fight it, I just give up to these cold whispers.

In the past few months I have been reflecting on many decisions that I have taken in life, trying to see what I have done correctly and what could have been done better.

I have been thinking about the past years and all the events that have shaped my personality over time.

A rejection from a dream school to a rejection from a prestige unit in the army, I developed the most terrible fear one can have- the fear of failing.

Today I can tell that these failures have led me to the most memorable events of my life. Without them, I wouldn’t have met my best friends in the entire world, or learn half of the lessons I have learned in my service, as if everything was happening according to a plan.

When I was done with my service I tried to reapply to my dream school and done everything in my power to do everything correctly in order to succeed this time. In the mean time, I started working in a job that have taught me a lot about life and adult life in particular. A few months later I get a letter, informing me that I was rejected again, however, this time, instead of feeling agony for my failure, I was relieved. I was ready for a change.

I was ready to start something new.

I started a pre medical prep course that prepares students for medical studies in Europe, met incredible friends and teachers, each with unique story and a passion for the field. I was inspired to learn more, work harder and more importantly I was ready to evolve as a person. The more. I researched about the European cities, the more excited I get about the challenge of not only studying medicine, but also moving to a complete new country, with different. language, culture and traditions. Afresh start. Maybe this is all, again, happening according to a plan.

As I’m writing these lines, I am probably using the platform to have a little escape from my studying routine before my entrance exams, to tell you that I still hear those cold whispers and I feel the fear tingling in my fingers, yet this time I let go to the meaning of their words and focus on the good.

No matter what will happen what is to happen in the future, I know it is for the best- success or failure because either way will lead me eventually one step closer to the sweetness of the real victory of discovering myself.

December 23, 2022 0

Nailed it!

I did it! I finally finished my military service which means… colourful nails! I missed the freedom of choosing the perfect colour to express feelings or just match my outfits throughout each season. For this special occasion, I decided to paint my nails in red. This was probably one of the most exciting moments I had this week. I know that I share this feeling with many of my girl friends but this does not apply to my guy friends, why?

When I ask guys about men painting their nails I almost immediately get answers like “nail polish is for girls” or “only women care about getting their nails done,” which might have been true 20 years ago but not anymore. More than that, even those who are interested in applying nail polish wouldn’t say anything about it so that their friends would make fun of them. Our society have changed so much and for some reason it seems like when we talk about some basic actions that defined femininity and masculinity in the past are still applicable in the present. This is true to other aspects as well: clothing, home chores, sports, occupation and even education. Gender roles and gender inequality are not supposed to be a thing in or lives and the question is what can we do to make this gap a little smaller?

First, accept people’s way of expressing themselves, regardless of their gender or identity. If we give each other a safe place to be who they are, we’ll get a community that all its individuals can freely and safely express their true selves.

Second, raise awareness! It is great that each one of us has mad a step towards a safer community but that’s not enough to make a change. T o make an actual change we need more and more people to progress. The best way is to talk about issues regarding gender roles and norms with friends, family, neighbours or even share content on social media.

Lastly, educate! In my opinion, this one is the most important one to actually build a stable community. To make sure a change isn’t just a temporary change we need to make sure that next generations understand this as well. It is so important to talk with young kids about this because they eventually will become the adults that teach their kids and so on. Moreover, if from a young age we make sure that kids know that gender roles are only imaginary roles, it will be so obvious for them that they can do whatever they want and become whoever they want (with hard work and dedication of course)!

This is, like many other changes society had faced throughout history, is a progress. It will not happen tomorrow. With that being said I hope that soon our global community will be a safe place to all its individuals, regardless of gender, identity or ethnicity.

August 21, 2021 1

Showing Strength Through Adaptation

If there is one thing I take from this year is adaptation: finding the power to admit I am stuck in place and find a new way to fulfil my dreams and sometimes survive. Though there is a catch. It might sound easy to do, but in reality there is so much going on in your life and mind that the effort that has to be made is huge and takes all the emotional power your body carries.

I am going through these thoughts at the moment. I think of the stress and fear I feel, which makes me uncomfortable, almost like I am not loyal to who I am. I know this is not true and that I have so many dreams and aspirations, and that eventually I am on the right way for me.

I learn daily that these thoughts aren’t necessarily bad. Growing and changing is a big part of who we are as humans and it is Okay to change and have new dreams. More than that, the new dreams can help us achieve the old ones and make our lives even more fulfilled.

I am still at the beginning of my 20s and have so much more to achieve in life. It is okay to have doubt. It makes us leave our comfort zone and evolve.

April 10, 2021 0