Refreshing the Mind

For a very long time I have been struggling with many difficulties. It started with “Shomer Hachomot” and ended up with other personal things that I was trying to find a way to cope with.

For many reasons I felt like I have no one to be there for me, even though I had so much support from many of my friends. Realising that I grow up over the time and very soon will be responsible for myself didn’t make things any better. After a very long time I realized that what’s best for me is to take a break from everything that I have my mind on and decided to go on a vacation to Eilat with my friends.

I am not going to go on the details of every adventure we were on, yet there was something special about these four days in this exotic city. I learned that life is beautiful and that we should do our best and take the most out of it. To be grateful for what we have and learn from anything and anyone we can. I understood the importance of friendship. I am so thankful for my friends that were able to tolerate my and the dark sides of my personality. I learned to experience and decide what’s best for me, and set my boundaries if needed.

Now that I am back home, thinking about all the different things that bother me on a regular basis, I realise how much more I can make out of my life. I am so thankful for everything that I have and have experienced up to this point of my life. I really do hope to make the best out of it.

Very soon I will be responsible for so many things, including my future and welfare. Childhood will be completely behind me. Growing up is very intimidating not going to lie. At least now I came in peace with my inner self. I forgive myself for my mistakes and look forward to get better life for my family friends and myself as well.

To conclude my thoughts I added some pictures from my spiritual vacation:


The sweetness of Freedom

When I think about freedom I think of an abstract concept that humans have evolved to perceive as the most important thing for their survival and evolution. We fight for other abstract concepts in the name of freedom and feel satisfied when we get a little bit spare time to have a little bit control over our lives. As I think about it more and more I have more questions about the mysterious evolution of the entire human race.

In the army, I have very little freedom; I can no longer choose my clothes, I share a room with four other girls, share the shower and sometimes I even get my dresser checked by the officers. I can’t even leave for a vacation without informing my commanders about it. This leaves very little freedom to me. Then it hit me: humans, the masters and rulers over both the animal and the plant kingdoms, evolved to have very little freedom!

Yuval Noah Harari put this concept beautifully in his book “Sapiens- a Brief History of Humankind” my all-time favourite book) and as I kept reading this made more sense to me.

We tend to overthink and build bigger platforms that eventually take every little bit of freedom (both consciously and unconsciously) from our lives. Even when we think we reached freedom, do we actually?

Here is an example: Let’s say I am the richest woman in the world and can afford anything I want. There are several platforms that might take over here; law that restricts me from buying illegal things, my conscience that will eventually force me to give money to charity; the fear of running out of money and even the concept of money itself and the social need to use money as a trade tool (and trade in general).

Animals and plants, on the other hand, don’t think about these kind of things at all (from my understanding at least); they care very little about freedom or trade. This makes life so much simpler. Even if humans wanted to give up on all the different social agreements that build our society, it would be so hard for one simple reason: we THINK. Our thoughts is what builds and can easily destroy our society and eventually the entire human race. Much like the different science fiction movies with the robots that eventually kill all the humans.

Our lives are full of abstract concepts like that. Understanding that these are just all imaginary agreements we have as humans can make it easier (or harder) for us to live, now that we fully understand this fact. Would we ever reach freedom? I don’t think so. Why? It is very simple: when we leave one platform, a social agreement, we tend to think of it as freedom, yet we still struggle with hundreds and even thousands of other platforms and social agreements in our lives.

The only thing we can actually do is to enjoy these little victories, the little moments of freedom and be happy!

Rosy almonds

For years I wanted to witness the the almond blossom, just like other Israelis on social media. For many reasons, this never happened until a few days ago. It was worth the long journey. Since most of my friends live in breathtaking places, I love going on small journeys with them.

Looking at the almond blossom I wondered how could I miss out on this view for so many years? I promised to explore the country a little bit more during my time off from the army. I love Israel. It has so much to offer and in so many aspects. The nature has many stories hidden in it, looking for those who are willing to listen. The Almonds have a story too. They aren’t necessarily telling the story of some ancient heroes living in Cna’an but rather the story of one’s dreams and aspirations.

For me, this experience meant finding meaning in the things I chose to do in life. Gathering all the thoughts into somethings that eventually makes sense to me. Honestly I am not there yet and probably will not have clear understanding until I am a bit older. With that being said, the almond blossom was in a way, a sign for me that some major changes are needed to be done- and for now, it is enough for me.

Theory of Relativity

When Einstein invented the “Theory of Relativity” he referred to the size of different objects and their impact in the universe. Like many, I chose to leave these kind of ideas back in physics class and absorb the ideas that will actually serve me as an individual in a modern society.

It was a long time since my last physics class, yet I found myself thinking about this theory a lot recently. As much as I appreciate Einstein’s work, the physics didn’t matter to me at all. I looked at the relativity of the different aspects that take space in my own life. A few days ago, I became a Seregant, which means that I have only 6 months left of military service. I was thinking about the different things that I have been through and realized how grateful I am for many things that I would never get to experience if I wasn’t doing military service. The negative experiences seemed so distant and with very little importance. I didn’t want that to be a major part of who I had become.

This made me think about time in general. My military service is only 2 years of my life and I want the rest of my life to be the best I can make out of it. I started thinking about all the great things that I want to accomplish in my life and about all the different things that stop me from doing what I love. I don’t want those things to become greater than the aspects that make me who I am in the infinite universe that is called “the soul”.

Moreover, I realized that those negative aspects that take such a big space in my soul effect my interactions with my family, friends and new people I meet in my life. I want to use the limited time I have with them and be (and make them) as happy as I can.

Thank you Einstein for changing my perspective on life.

Red South

Southern Israel has always been very special to me. No, I don’t talk about the Negev but rather about the Gaza Strip. Well maybe southern to Tel Aviv is a proper description. My dad who works in Asdod, had taken us (before quarantine) to tour around the city and discover its best restaurants. There are so many other great places at the south. It has always been clear to me that my military service will be next to the Gaza Strip. This makes everything perfect.

Not really.

In times of emergency, the south is attacked by the rockets from Gaza and the red alert is sounded all over the area. For many kids, waking up to this sound is pretty normal and some people spend longer time in shelters rather than their own rooms. Now, that I am serving in the army, I can identify with the southern citizens. I have been there. I now know what it is like to spend days worrying about the future of my family and friends and to care for those who need more support during these difficult times.

This, however, is not what the south is all about. There are beautiful sides to it too. Every year, around February all the way to May, the forests in southern Israel bloom with red. The Anemones! Not only the show the beauty of this controversial part of Israel, but also they bring joy to the entire Israeli population! Families from places as far as Metula, come witness the beauty of the Anemones.

This is such a special occasion to me. After getting the second vaccine for Covid, I made my friends go and watch the blooming of these amazing flowers with me. Reluctantly, they agreed, and even though there were not a lot of Anemones at this time of the year, I couldn’t be happier.

Not only I enjoyed the breathtaking bloom and the story behind the Anemones, but also the company of my best friends, who have already become family.

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