New Year’s Resolution

My annual reflection.

I can say that I have been through so much this year and learned so much about myself.

Probably my most valuable intake from this year is to embrace my failures, because they test us and force us to reflect on every step we take along the way.

Rejection from schools and military programs, has led me to my military job where I met my best friends and faced the challenges of the Israeli- Palestinian conflict.

A job that helped me Gain more life skills and eventually solidifying my understanding of myself and the path I want to take in life.

And my pre med course, that helped me gather all the missing pieces together, and prepare me for the new upcoming journey.

For the first time in forever, I feel complete and confident in who I am.

I am so happy I failed, and so should you.

I can’t wait to see what awaits for me in this new chapter in life:)

January 1, 2023 0

The Mega Fear

Every single one of us has something that terrifies them to the point of paralysis. Believe me, I can assure you that I have a few of those.

Some voices in my head that keep whispering to me that I am not good enough and I might never be. At times I almost feel that I will not be able to get over the fear and stand up on my feet. That I cannot fight it, I just give up to these cold whispers.

In the past few months I have been reflecting on many decisions that I have taken in life, trying to see what I have done correctly and what could have been done better.

I have been thinking about the past years and all the events that have shaped my personality over time.

A rejection from a dream school to a rejection from a prestige unit in the army, I developed the most terrible fear one can have- the fear of failing.

Today I can tell that these failures have led me to the most memorable events of my life. Without them, I wouldn’t have met my best friends in the entire world, or learn half of the lessons I have learned in my service, as if everything was happening according to a plan.

When I was done with my service I tried to reapply to my dream school and done everything in my power to do everything correctly in order to succeed this time. In the mean time, I started working in a job that have taught me a lot about life and adult life in particular. A few months later I get a letter, informing me that I was rejected again, however, this time, instead of feeling agony for my failure, I was relieved. I was ready for a change.

I was ready to start something new.

I started a pre medical prep course that prepares students for medical studies in Europe, met incredible friends and teachers, each with unique story and a passion for the field. I was inspired to learn more, work harder and more importantly I was ready to evolve as a person. The more. I researched about the European cities, the more excited I get about the challenge of not only studying medicine, but also moving to a complete new country, with different. language, culture and traditions. Afresh start. Maybe this is all, again, happening according to a plan.

As I’m writing these lines, I am probably using the platform to have a little escape from my studying routine before my entrance exams, to tell you that I still hear those cold whispers and I feel the fear tingling in my fingers, yet this time I let go to the meaning of their words and focus on the good.

No matter what will happen what is to happen in the future, I know it is for the best- success or failure because either way will lead me eventually one step closer to the sweetness of the real victory of discovering myself.

December 23, 2022 0

A New Year’s Resolution

I have to admit that 2021 wasn’t an easy year for me. I have grown and changed, made progress and learned new things about myself. With that being said I also did not meet my goals for the year, lost loved ones, and had a very difficult year overall.

When people around me were excited to celebrate NYE I was sad and definitely was not in the mood of celebrating. I realized though, that I really was concentrating only on the bad experiences I’ve had, completely ignoring all the good memories and the progress I have been through.

So, for this upcoming year, I wish myself to be happy, set goals and focus on progress instead of achievements. I do know now that it is okay not to be 100% all the time and I hope that 2022 is going to be a great on for all!

Happy New Year!

January 2, 2022 0

Nailed it!

I did it! I finally finished my military service which means… colourful nails! I missed the freedom of choosing the perfect colour to express feelings or just match my outfits throughout each season. For this special occasion, I decided to paint my nails in red. This was probably one of the most exciting moments I had this week. I know that I share this feeling with many of my girl friends but this does not apply to my guy friends, why?

When I ask guys about men painting their nails I almost immediately get answers like “nail polish is for girls” or “only women care about getting their nails done,” which might have been true 20 years ago but not anymore. More than that, even those who are interested in applying nail polish wouldn’t say anything about it so that their friends would make fun of them. Our society have changed so much and for some reason it seems like when we talk about some basic actions that defined femininity and masculinity in the past are still applicable in the present. This is true to other aspects as well: clothing, home chores, sports, occupation and even education. Gender roles and gender inequality are not supposed to be a thing in or lives and the question is what can we do to make this gap a little smaller?

First, accept people’s way of expressing themselves, regardless of their gender or identity. If we give each other a safe place to be who they are, we’ll get a community that all its individuals can freely and safely express their true selves.

Second, raise awareness! It is great that each one of us has mad a step towards a safer community but that’s not enough to make a change. T o make an actual change we need more and more people to progress. The best way is to talk about issues regarding gender roles and norms with friends, family, neighbours or even share content on social media.

Lastly, educate! In my opinion, this one is the most important one to actually build a stable community. To make sure a change isn’t just a temporary change we need to make sure that next generations understand this as well. It is so important to talk with young kids about this because they eventually will become the adults that teach their kids and so on. Moreover, if from a young age we make sure that kids know that gender roles are only imaginary roles, it will be so obvious for them that they can do whatever they want and become whoever they want (with hard work and dedication of course)!

This is, like many other changes society had faced throughout history, is a progress. It will not happen tomorrow. With that being said I hope that soon our global community will be a safe place to all its individuals, regardless of gender, identity or ethnicity.

August 21, 2021 1

Refreshing the Mind

For a very long time I have been struggling with many difficulties. It started with “Shomer Hachomot” and ended up with other personal things that I was trying to find a way to cope with.

For many reasons I felt like I have no one to be there for me, even though I had so much support from many of my friends. Realising that I grow up over the time and very soon will be responsible for myself didn’t make things any better. After a very long time I realized that what’s best for me is to take a break from everything that I have my mind on and decided to go on a vacation to Eilat with my friends.

I am not going to go on the details of every adventure we were on, yet there was something special about these four days in this exotic city. I learned that life is beautiful and that we should do our best and take the most out of it. To be grateful for what we have and learn from anything and anyone we can. I understood the importance of friendship. I am so thankful for my friends that were able to tolerate my and the dark sides of my personality. I learned to experience and decide what’s best for me, and set my boundaries if needed.

Now that I am back home, thinking about all the different things that bother me on a regular basis, I realise how much more I can make out of my life. I am so thankful for everything that I have and have experienced up to this point of my life. I really do hope to make the best out of it.

Very soon I will be responsible for so many things, including my future and welfare. Childhood will be completely behind me. Growing up is very intimidating not going to lie. At least now I came in peace with my inner self. I forgive myself for my mistakes and look forward to get better life for my family friends and myself as well.

To conclude my thoughts I added some pictures from my spiritual vacation:

June 28, 2021 0