Every single one of us has something that terrifies them to the point of paralysis. Believe me, I can assure you that I have a few of those.
Some voices in my head that keep whispering to me that I am not good enough and I might never be. At times I almost feel that I will not be able to get over the fear and stand up on my feet. That I cannot fight it, I just give up to these cold whispers.
In the past few months I have been reflecting on many decisions that I have taken in life, trying to see what I have done correctly and what could have been done better.
I have been thinking about the past years and all the events that have shaped my personality over time.
A rejection from a dream school to a rejection from a prestige unit in the army, I developed the most terrible fear one can have- the fear of failing.
Today I can tell that these failures have led me to the most memorable events of my life. Without them, I wouldn’t have met my best friends in the entire world, or learn half of the lessons I have learned in my service, as if everything was happening according to a plan.
When I was done with my service I tried to reapply to my dream school and done everything in my power to do everything correctly in order to succeed this time. In the mean time, I started working in a job that have taught me a lot about life and adult life in particular. A few months later I get a letter, informing me that I was rejected again, however, this time, instead of feeling agony for my failure, I was relieved. I was ready for a change.
I was ready to start something new.
I started a pre medical prep course that prepares students for medical studies in Europe, met incredible friends and teachers, each with unique story and a passion for the field. I was inspired to learn more, work harder and more importantly I was ready to evolve as a person. The more. I researched about the European cities, the more excited I get about the challenge of not only studying medicine, but also moving to a complete new country, with different. language, culture and traditions. Afresh start. Maybe this is all, again, happening according to a plan.
As I’m writing these lines, I am probably using the platform to have a little escape from my studying routine before my entrance exams, to tell you that I still hear those cold whispers and I feel the fear tingling in my fingers, yet this time I let go to the meaning of their words and focus on the good.
No matter what will happen what is to happen in the future, I know it is for the best- success or failure because either way will lead me eventually one step closer to the sweetness of the real victory of discovering myself.